WHAT IS GOING ON???

Hebrews 11:1 NIV

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

The year is 2018. I had been noticing that each time I combed my hair it seemed to be getting thinner and thinner. I decided to schedule an appointment with my dermatologist to try and figure out WHAT WAS GOING ON! She took one look at my scalp, left the room for about a minute, and returned with a small digital camera in hand. She proceeded to take several pictures, and at the end of it all, I could not believe what I saw! My hair, which had always been very thick, long, and flowing was now reduced to patches of bald spots spread throughout my head! In total disbelief, I couldn't bear to look any longer. My dermatologist then did a biopsy of my scalp, and one very worrisome week later, I got the news that would change my life forever! The reason why I had developed those mysterious patches in my head was because I had Discoid Lupus Erythematousus (DLE.)

For those of you who may not be familiar with this autoimmune diseases, this type of lupus affects your skin. It can appear in the form of rashes or sores and most often manifests itself on the skin, face, or scalp. The causes of it is somewhat unknown, but it has been long believed that it is a hereditary disease. However, continuous exposure to the sun's harmful UV rays, along with extremely stressful conditions, often leads to a lupus flare up. Needless to say, once my dermatologist disclosed this terrible news to me, I immediately broke down in tears. What was I going to do? Why is this happening to me? WHAT IS GOING ON??? These were all questions that came flooding into my mind, all at once.

After gathering myself together, I was quickly reminded of the fact that since I had only requested two hours off from work to attend my appointment, I would need to call my bosses, two very loving and caring women who were equally concerned about my health. When I shared my diagnosis with them and explained how shocked I was and my present emotional distress, they advised me that it was probably best for me not to return to work that day, but to instead take the time to process and figure out where I would go from here. It was now time to do the research on how to defeat this illness, a disease that was now unfortunately, a sobering reality in my life.

Five years later, after avoiding exposure to the sun as much as possible, learning how to reduce the amount of stress I allow in my life (no easy feat as you will soon learn,) and numerous rounds of Cortisone shots and steroid ointments on my scalp, my hair has mostly grown back. There are a few spots where the follicles have died, so hair will never grow back there. But, the biggest thing that has helped me overcome this struggle is my ongoing relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! Without Him, I would have totally fallen apart and would not have pursued the treatments that kept me from being nearly bald. He has kept me through this whole ordeal and without a doubt, I know that He will continue to do so. He has given me the strength when I was weak and comforted me when I was feeling sorry for myself. I will share some more about His goodness in my future stories of living with someone who suffers from mental illness. But, each time before I close, I will leave you with a verse or scripture that helped me in my darkest hour, and I hope will help you too. Until next time, KEEP THE FAITH!

Isaiah 40:31 NIV

But, those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.